Don’t Look Down

get the fuck out of your comfort zone!

Inspired by Samuel L. Jackson’s “Stay the Fuck at Home” video on YouTube.

Without a doubt, you can have an interesting, full, and fruitful life staying within your comfort zone, only straying outside of it when you have to… such as getting married, having children, changing jobs, or retirement. But that’s not really getting out of your comfort zone, at least not what I mean when we say “GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!!!”

When I say “get the fuck out of your comfort zone,” here’s how I mean it: to do something that is exhilarating, takes your breath away, scares the living shit out of you (until you’ve done it), starts you on a journey to become a better person, helps you live a fuller, more exciting and interesting life. I’m talking about life-altering things like therapy and counseling, and other activities that leave you vulnerable. Vulnerability is super scary — trust us, I know — but it puts you on a path for immense growth and a more intimate relationship with yourself and others. I’m also talking about big-time bucket list experiences; those things that you really want to experience before kicking the proverbial bucket. They may not leave you vulnerable, but most bucket list experiences, require you to get out of your comfort zone to do them. And they can be exhilarating, life-changing, and scare the shit out of you.

Nude Boudoir

Having a professional boudoir photo session and taking photos in lingerie or less, doing something like Alishia did in the photo to the left, is outside of your comfort zone, maybe way outside of it.

But why is it scary to get out of your comfort zone?

You’re anxious and nervous. You’re going to have intimate photos taken of you in lingerie or less by someone who might be a complete stranger in a place you’ve never been before.

You’re exposed. You’re vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary.

You are exposed to yourself and your photographer. You see your flaws and imperfections and are forced to face them. You know your photographer will see them. Are you scared that your photographer will be disgusted by them or judge you because of them?

On top of that, you’re nearly naked. Maybe completely naked for some shots. In front of someone who just an hour or two ago was a complete stranger.

You’re anxious, nervous, exposed, and vulnerable. That’s scary. Super scary.

Let us tell you a short story. In 2018, when I really started getting serious about boudoir photography, my wife told me on more than one occasion that she wanted to see herself as I see her.

You see, she knows she’s pretty, beautiful. She sees herself that way. But she never saw herself as sexy. The way I do.

I hatched a plan. We rented a suite at New York, New York Hotel and Casino for her 50th birthday weekend. We found Beauty Studio, Inc., the professional hair and makeup service company I’ve used exclusively ever since. We went shopping for outfits.

And we did the photo session.

The first set was easy for her. She wore her Vegas Golden Knights jersey, black panties, and black, thigh high boots. Nothing too revealing.

The second set wasn’t too difficult for her either. She wanted to do a set to commemorate my US Air Force service. We went to a military surplus store and bought her a USAF camouflage overshirt and a cap. With those two items, she wore a black bra, black panties, black garter belt, black stockings, and black stilettos. For some shots, I had her unbutton the overshirt partially, then completely. I think she was a little self-conscious when I asked her to unbutton the overshirt, but not terribly so.

It was the third outfit that was the hardest for her. She almost never wears sexy lingerie. We had gone to the Love Store and picked out a semi-translucent body suit with a sheer skirt. While it didn’t reveal anything naughty, she was nervous and anxious about wearing it even though it was her husband of 24 years (at the time) taking her photos. The point is, wearing somewhat revealing lingerie, even for her husband, and having photos taken wearing it was far out of her comfort zone.

But she “got the fuck out of her comfort zone.” Her photos came out beautiful. She loved them. She couldn’t believe it was her in the photos.

And she cried tears of joy after she saw her photos. She saw what I see every minute of every day. She saw herself as sexy.


Let me point out that my wife is not petite. At one point in her life, she weighed more than 300 pounds due to type-2 diabetes. She had a gastric bypass, not for vanity, but for her health. She lost a lot of weight and has kept it off. She has a lot of loose skin due to that weight loss. She has scars from several surgeries she’s had over the years. She has flaws and imperfections just like you. Like we all do.

But here’s the point of my little story. My wife got out of her comfort zone despite her flaws, imperfections, and insecurities. She did the photo session wearing an outfit that was very much not something she’d normally wear even for me unless I specifically ask her to. She loved the experience, loved her photos, felt empowered, and gained a ton of confidence from it.

And she wants to do it again.

How does my little story relate to you? I completely understand and can sympathize with how you feel. I know how it feels because my wife and I discussed it, privately between us, and in our couples therapy sessions. I understand and can sympathize with your anxiety, your nervousness, and being exposed and vulnerable.

boudoir photo example

Your flaws and imperfections are what make you uniquely you. They are a part of you. They are a reminder of where you’ve been and what you’ve done on your journey through time. They are an important part of your journey’s story.

As your photographer, I don’t see your flaws and imperfections. I am not focused on them. I am not photographing your flaws and imperfections. I am not disgusted by them. I am not judging you. I am focused on you. I am photographing you. All of you.

When you see your photos, you probably won’t see your flaws and imperfections, even on the large screen, I display them on. You will be too overwhelmed to notice. You will be amazed at how drop-dead gorgeous you look in your photos. And these photos haven’t even been beauty retouched yet!

Now ask yourself this question: what could happen, good or bad, if you got out of your comfort zone and had some boudoir portraits taken and people you know other than you, your partner, and your photographer saw them?

Unless you have a jealous partner, I cannot think of anything really bad that could happen. It’s possible you might lose some friends, but if they were good friends, wouldn’t they be supportive of you?

If you really think honestly about the different answers you can come up with to the question above, I think you’ll find that most, if not all, of your answers are just excuses for staying within your comfort zone.

Your answers are you talking yourself out of doing something adventurous, something empowering, something fun, something exciting, something that will help you become the woman you should be… better yet, the woman you deserve to be.

What good things can will happen? You will feel empowered. You will gain confidence. You will boost your self-esteem. You will feel as beautiful and gorgeous as you really are. And, if you lost your sexy during your life journey, you will get your sexy back too.

outdoor implied nude

Let me ask you another question: if you never get outside your comfort zone, do you really believe you are living your life to the absolute fullest? Do you really believe that you are experiencing everything that your life could be?


photoshoot theme ideas - valentine's day

I firmly believe that you absolutely must GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE to experience life to its fullest.

That’s important, so I’m going to say it again. If you stay in your little world and don’t GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, I firmly believe you cannot experience everything that life has to offer.

One more time… I firmly believe you cannot grow into the person you are meant to be, the person you were born to be, unless you GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

It’s vitally important to try new things, have new adventures, do things that are scary, and try new things that are uncomfortable. Life isn’t always supposed to be routine and comfortable. Life is supposed to be exciting, exhilarating, and fun! Sometimes, life is supposed to take your breath away. But to have these experiences, you have to GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

And that goes for a boudoir photo session like our Dream Boudoir Experience. If you don’t GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, you won’t experience the full power it has to transform you into the confident, beautiful, elegant, alluring, radiant angel you truly are.

Now that I’ve beaten it to a pulp, are you ready to get the fuck out of your comfort zone, do something scary, but exhilarating and very likely life-altering? Good! Book your empowering, confidence building, self-esteem boosting Phantasy Photos’ Boudoir Experience and begin that transformation into the confident, beautiful, elegant, alluring, radiant angel that you truly are!

Get the Fuck Out of Your Comfort Zone

If not now, WHEN?

I’m going to end this article with two quotes that I feel embody the spirit of this article.

"You can't live your life in fear."

"Get busy living or get busy dying."



Opinions Are Like... Well, You Know... So Say Something

Opinions Are Like... Well, You Know... So Say Something

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