why you aren’t right for a boudoir photo session and why that doesn’t matter

Yep, you read that title right. You aren’t right for a boudoir photo session. No one is. I’ll get to why that doesn’t matter shortly.

"I would love to do this, but I need to lose X pounds first."


You just can’t get photos taken at your current weight. That would be obscene. Don’t even think about it.

Let me set you straight. NO, you don’t. Losing 5 or 10 pounds, or more, doesn’t change your mindset. When people lose their desired weight, many of them still think they need to lose more weight. I’ve photographed women of all shapes, sizes, and body types. Besides, if you do lose the weight you want to lose, you can always do another boudoir photo session featuring the new you!

"I'm not a model."

"I don't know how to model.

How would you know how to model unless you’ve done modeling before? “I just can’t do this. I don’t have any experience.” Forget about doing a boudoir photo session. You’re not a good fit for a boudoir photo session.

It doesn’t matter that you don’t know how to model. I’m not looking for models. I’m looking for women just like you. You don’t need any modeling experience. If fact, I prefer it if you don’t have any modeling experience. Why? I do this to empower women. To boost their self-confidence and self-esteem. To help them not only see themselves as beautiful but also to help them feel beautiful. To help them love themselves as they are, right now.


"But I don't know how to pose."

Of course not. You’re not a model. So how would you know how to pose? Don’t even think about doing a boudoir photo session. You won’t be able to do any of the poses anyway.

You don’t need to know how to pose. You don’t need to know what to do with your hands. You don’t need to know how to pop a hip, point your toes, arch your back, or what facial expressions to use. I coach you into poses that enhance and flatter your curves. I demonstrate every pose. All you have to do is copy me. Then I’ll coach. you: what to do with your hands and feet, where to look, when to smile, and more. I show you everything and coach you until it’s just right.

"I don't look like a supermodel."

You’re right. You don’t. You don’t look like Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Ashley Graham, Cindy Crawford, Elle McPherson, Giselle Bündchen, or any other model. Might as well just squash that dream.

But none of them looks like you either. You don’t have to look like a supermodel to do a boudoir photo session. You just have to look like you, and I’ll do the rest I bring in a professional hairstylist and makeup artist to accentuate your natural beauty. I help you select your outfits. I coach you into supermodel poses. All you have to do is show up to your photo session with your outfits. Easy peasy! Nice and easy!

Colored Cloth

"I'm not pretty enough."


Well, if you don’t feel pretty enough then you shouldn’t do a boudoir photo session. You won’t like your photos. You could very well feel even worse about yourself than you did before your photo session.

That’s nonsense. Every woman is beautiful. As your photographer, it’s my job to bring it out of you, capture it, and show you just how gorgeous you really are. And I will. I do it all the time.

"I have scars, stretch marks, cellulite, etc."

WAIT! WHAT? You don’t have flawless skin? You have scars? Stretch marks? You’re right, you can’t do a boudoir photo session with all of those little imperfections.

So what! Those things are part of you. They help define you. They help you tell your story… where you’ve been… what you’ve gone through to get to today. They aren’t going away. Embrace them. Own them. Love them. And you know what? When you see your photos, you won’t see your imperfections… you’ll see your beauty!

I want you to take a look at the photo to the right. This is TK Shakur. She was severely burned by scalding how water when she was a toddler. The only way to alleviate the severe pain she lived with for years was to amputate both legs below the knee. Take a look at how she embraces and shows everyone her scars. If she can do it, you can too.

She tells her inspirational story in the video below.

Matching Bra & Panty Set
TK Shakur

"I have a lot of body issues."

Of course, you do. You can’t do a boudoir photo session with all that baggage.

Everyone has body issues. Even supermodels. Even the size 2 woman you work with. They limit us. They bring us down. They can even control us. That’s not healthy. I help change this mindset. I show you just how beautiful you are despite those things that you don’t like about yourself.

"I don't think I could strip down to my underwear for photos."

instagram model experience sample photo

It’s scary. It’s intimidating, especially when your photographer is a man (it’s true, I am). I just can’t get nearly naked in front of a strange man. You’re right. You shouldn’t. Even my wife (we’ve been married almost 28 years) was reluctant to pose in her lingerie for me.

But she looked fear in the eye, posed in her lingerie, and she loves her photos. You will too.

You don’t have to strip down to your underwear if you don’t want to. I’ve had women wear dresses, sorts jerseys, a man’s long-sleeved, button-down dress shirt, t-shirts, pajamas, bodysuits, and lots of other outfits that are decidedly NOT underwear. Wear what you want to wear. Wear what’s comfortable. You’ll look amazing no matter what you wear.

"I don't have anything sexy to wear."

Well, if you don’t have anything sexy to wear, then you might as well stop reading, because boudoir photography is all about sexy lingerie, right?

Wrong, it’s not all about sexy lingerie. It’s okay if you don’t have any sexy lingerie and don’t want to buy some. Bring what you have; bring what feels comfortable to you. It’s not so much about the clothes you’re wearing (or not wearing); it’s more about how you feel when you’re wearing them (or not). I have ways to help you achieve that sexy look no matter what you wear.

digital photo example

"I don't want to do nude photos."

Right. Boudoir photography is lingerie and nude photos. You shouldn’t get naked in front of a complete stranger. You’d be vulnerable. It’s not safe. Run, don’t walk, away.

Boudoir photography isn’t nude photography. It can be, but most of the time it’s not. Boudoir photography at Phantasy Photos is all about showing women how beautiful they are, just as they are. It’s about empowering women, boosting their self-confidence and self-esteem, and helping them love themselves.

Yes, I do take tasteful artistic nudes of women. But it’s a personal choice. I don’t force or coerce anyone to do anything they aren’t willing to do. So, if you don’t want to do nude photos, don’t. You won’t hurt my feelings.


"This is way outside of my comfort zone."

Stay in your safe place. Don’t do anything risky. Just stay in your comfort zone and live your boring life.

A boudoir photo session is outside the comfort zone for a lot of women. I totally get that. It can be scary and intimidating to strip down to your underwear/lingerie and have photos taken, especially when the photographer is male (I am… nothing I can do about that).

A lot of women will never get outside of that comfort zone. Frankly, I think that’s a shame. It makes me sad because I think they are missing out on an opportunity to prove to themselves that they can step outside of their comfort zone and feel amazing.

You need to do something a little uncomfortable. Something you’ve always wanted to do but never imagined you could do. Now is the time to do something you don’t think you can do, and prove to yourself that you can. You’ll be amazed at how much confidence you’ll have afterward.

None of the above Matters

That’s right… none of it matters. Not one bit. I’ve just shot down all of the popular excuses for NOT doing a boudoir session. There’s absolutely no reason whatsoever why you cannot do a boudoir photo session.

You are really missing out if you don’t experience a boudoir session at least once in your life. You won’t get that boost in self-confidence and self-esteem you so deserve. You’ll always wonder what it’s like to be a model for a day. You need to do this for yourself. You need to learn to love yourself; a boudoir photo session helps you get there. 

You Deserve The Experience... You Are Worth It

Don't miss out on the experience of a lifetime. Feel beautiful. Gain more confidence and self-esteem than you can ever imagine. And make some lasting memories and beautiful art, and have fun doing it. You never know when life might throw that nasty curveball. Don't delay. Do it now.

Last Excuse: You Get Your Jollies Photographing Women in Lingerie or Less, Right?

That statement is farther from the truth than the distance Voyager has travelled on its mission to the outer realms of the solar system and beyond. I did not choose to specialize in boudoir photography because I get to see women in their lingerie or less.

I’m a giver. I get a lot of joy out of giving, whether it’s donating to a cause I am passionate about, giving a homeless person a meal, giving someone who’s down on their luck a few bucks, or helping women believe they are beautiful, special, and worth their own love.

I focus on boudoir photography because I am passionate about empowering women. I get a tremendous amount of satisfaction when I see a woman’s self-confidence grow right before my eyes. It makes me so happy to watch a woman’s transformation when she sees just how beautiful she is and actually feels it too. It amazes me every time a woman cries tears of happiness when she sees her photos, knowing I just made a difference in her life. That’s the ultimate reward.

That’s what I get out of every boudoir photo session. That’s why I specialize in boudoir photography.



Opinions Are Like... Well, You Know... So Say Something

Opinions Are Like... Well, You Know... So Say Something

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